Susannah's Story

Yes, I had been at the Passover Meal. The Master was very keen that we should be. After the meal, we went home... My little girl wasn't feeling well and we decided that she would be better in her own bed. We said goodnight to the Master and I think it was then that it really hit me ... that something was going to happen.

I remember seeing the look in his eyes. He wasn't saying goodnight ... he was saying goodbye. I'd seen the same look in my father's eyes when I saw him for the last time. I can't describe it... My father knew he hadn't long to live ... though we had thought he had longer ... and when he said goodbye he looked at me ... as if he was looking deep into my soul ... to hold onto something ... I don't know ... But I have seen the same look since in other people and I saw it in the Master's eyes that night. I hugged him close and begged him to be careful... and then we left.

We knew what he was teaching was causing problems for the powers-that-be but I don't think any of us thought events would unfold with the speed they did. I think we all believed that no-one would dare to touch him. Look at the following he had...

So when Martha arrived that afternoon ... I have to say that, at first, I didn't believe her. It just couldn't happen like that ...There are laws governing these things! But I knew Martha well enough to know that she would have got all her facts right ... and why else would she be talking about burial spices and shrouds and of how she needed them. NOW...

It threw me into a quandary. Obviously, I wanted to go with her ... but I couldn't take the children ... not to witness what was happening to their beloved Friend. I would have to ask my mother to look after them ... but that would take time ... something Martha didn't have. I gave her all the things I had and as I pushed them into her hands, I asked her again if she was absolutely sure ... She didn't answer ... and that told me everything....

I sent a maid-servant to ask my mother to come ... and waited. I don't suppose that it took very long ... but it seemed forever... I can't say that she entirely approved when I told her where I was going ... I think her words were "I don't know how you can do this to your family ... you're bringing shame on us all. Don't you care anything for your husband's memory...and the children..."

She had to bring the children into it... I just said that he was their friend too and that I wasn't going to argue. If she didn't want to stay with the children, then I would leave a maid-servant with them ... but I wasn't entering into any debates about it... I had never spoken to my mother like that before ... but at least she understood that this was something I had to do. She reached for my veil and put it over my head. Then she looked at me and said, "Is he worth it?" I held her hands in mine and said ..."Yes" ... What more could I say?

I think the entire population was on the road to Golgotha. Occasionally I would spot a familiar face but most of them simply looked. away as if they hadn't seen me. I suppose it is dangerous to show that you are a friend of someone who is being executed as a danger to the State...

It took me a long time to make my way to the place of ... execution ... and by then the soldiers weren't letting anyone through... Quite what they thought we would do I don't know... As far as I could tell, all the crowd wanted was to make the Master's last hours as horrific as possible... It wasn't enough to see him tortured and nailed to a cross... he had to be abused and jeered at right to the end ... even the other prisoners were joining in ... except one ... It was strange that I should hear that... Above all the noise, I heard one of them ask the Master to remember him ... and the Master looked at him as I'd seen him look at so many other people and I knew that this man would find peace at the end...

It wasn't peaceful then though... It began to grow dark and people began to be afraid... What if he really was the Messiah? ... Was God going to come and punish them? It was difficult to see what was happening... But then there was that moment when the Master cried out... The mob was silent then ... waiting for divine retribution...

I waited for it too... After all he had said to us, I stood there and longed for God to come down in a blaze of glory and wipe these people off the face of the earth....

He didn't though ... and as the moment passed, I became aware that all around me people were telling each other how they had always known that he wasn't the son of God ... and how he deserved what he had got. I just buried my face in my hands and wept.

Of course, that made me a target too... but, quite frankly, I was past caring... Everything ... all the hopes I'd had ... the dreams of life in the Kingdom ... everything that I had thought he could make possible was gone ... all that was left was the poor battered body of a young man ... and more heart-break....

Once the spectacle was over the crowd dispersed and I was able to make my way to where he had been laid with his mother. Other people joined us and we began the harrowing job of preparing him for burial. It became obvious that we weren't going to be ready before nightfall so we decided to lay him to rest and come back after Passover to complete the funeral rites. As my house is close by, I suggested that everyone come back there until then.

The men picked up the Master and we began the slow procession the tomb. A moment later, his mother stopped. We thought, at first, that she was overcome with grief but she was looking at something... We followed her gaze and saw a very young ... and very pregnant ... girl standing beside the body of one of the other men who had been crucified. Someone whispered that he was the one who had done most of the cursing . ..But the Master's mother was very still... She seemed a long way away. Then, she called me to her and took my hand...

"She's very young ... and very frightened... She is nine-months pregnant and she has nowhere to go..."

I knew something of her own story . ..so I simply squeezed her hand and said, "Of course I will . ..though what my mother's going to say...." She gave a half-smile ..(she's met my mother!) and then she turned and followed her son to his tomb...

I turned too and tried to work out quite how I was going to deal with this...

The girl was obviously deep in shock and did not at first notice me. When she looked up and saw me, she shrank away. I could not decide whether it was because of who she thought I was ... or because she had seen me with the others round the Master's body and thought I had come to condemn her for what her man had done...

I realised that I had to be extremely gentle and fervently wished that the Master were here to tell me what to do...

"Would you like a little wine? It will help... Have you eaten today? You must have something . ..it won't do the baby any good if you don't eat."

It may not have been the right thing to say ... but she did accept a little of the bread and wine that I had brought, left over from the night before.

"I think you should cone now. Let me take you home."

Again, the wrong thing to say... Her poor young body was suddenly wracked by sobs that seemed to come the

depths of her womb. I put my arms round her and we sank to the ground ... and I cradled her as her grief and fear poured out...

As her sobs subsided into hiccoughs, I looked up and caught sight of her husband's body ... and suddenly had a picture of myself . ..the respectable wife of Joachim ... sitting on the dirt of Golgotha, cradling in my arms the pregnant wife of an executed criminal ... It got worse ...When I asked the girl what her husband had been called ... she began to weep again and say that he hadn't been her husband... He had given her a home ... of sorts ... and lived off her earnings as a prostitute... This little girl had problems ... and so did I... What to do with her with barely an hour until Passover?

As I looked to the heavens for an answer, I saw the Master's cross ... blood-stained and stark against the evening sky. I knew what I had to do ... even without him here to tell me.

I gathered the girl up and told her she was coming home with me. That filled her with nearly as much horror as if I'd told her I was taking her to the Sanhedrin... Maybe she thought I was going to... After much persuasion ... and many reassurances, I finally managed to lead her to the road home.

You may be able to imagine my mother's reaction ... and the children's!

I handed the girl into the care of one of the maid-servants with strict instructions that she was to be treated gently... Fortunately. Sarah had met the Master too, so a word with her about "doing it for the least of my brothers ... or sisters" ... was enough to convince her that I meant what I said.

I then sat down with my mother and the children to explain that Hannah ... our new friend ... was going to stay with us - at least until her baby was born ... and possibly much longer ... that they were to treat her with the same kindness and courtesy as they would treat their own family. I explained to the children that the Master had died but that I thought that he had sent this "lady" and her baby for us to look after. And I told my mother that if she didn't feel that she could do that . ..or help me to look after the other people who would be arriving soon, she should go then before Passover began...

There was a silence nor ... I could not believe that I had said those things ... and neither could my mother and the children... Several moments passed until my mother said, "You will not be able to cope on your own" ... and got up and went to sort out the meal for the evening.

We did not eat very much ... although everyone tried. Hannah sat apart... startled every time some-one spoke to her. It was a desolate evening.

We went to bed . ..but I don't think anyone slept.

At about noon the next day, the inevitable happened...Hannah went into labour.

In some ways, it was a blessing... We had to get up and do something. On the other hand, this was a first baby. Hannah was terrified ... and by late afternoon, we realised that it was going to be a long, difficult time.

We need not have the details ... but we were busy all night reassuring her ... helping her through the worst of the pains ... encouraging her to keep going ... Finally, as the first glimmers of dawn touched the hilltops, she gave birth to her baby ... strong and healthy. We cleaned the baby ... and then watched as the little girl was transformed into a mother. The Master's mother sat with her and showed her how to wrap the baby in swaddling-bands. I think we all found that hard to watch ... hard but very beautiful...

There was no point going to bed ... We brought bread and wine and shared breakfast ... admiring the baby and watching the mother become absorbed in her child.

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That was an hour or so ago. Hannah and her baby are resting and we are going to tend the Master now ... So much has happened in three days ... I feel that I have grown up ... certainly taken charge ... almost a new person . ..and we have a real new person, don't we ... a new life in our midst...

 

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